As a youngster, I used to attend Eisteddfod’s and talent festivals. I always felt really nervous in front of a crowd. Me and my family attended a concert one evening, sitting in the first or second row (can’t completely remember) and the artist asked for someone to join him on stage. Lights pointed around, and finally, I was picked out of the crowd. My cheeks were bloodshot, smiling, shaking, trying to act normal. When on stage, he started singing one of his popular songs, and I had to join in on the moves to the song. I was completely frozen. My head lowered, eyes staring at the ground, completely blood red and I was shaking, my heart racing.
Funny enough, as time went on. I still feel frozen, I still have those fears. However, 20 years later and I have realized that if you want something in your life, if you want a dream, a dream so bad and you know you can do it, then do it. The crowd should not scare you. Someone once told me that the crowd isn’t there to judge you, they are merely there to see you perform and enjoy the show. They are not there to judge you.
Earlier this year, I attended a talent showcase audition. I was nervous just like before, my knees started shaking, my heart racing, beating so loud I could hear it in my ears and feel it in my throat. However, I kept telling myself: you can do this, you know the words, you can hit the note, you have practiced so many times, this is something you’ve always wanted to do in your life. And so, as I stood there with my heart pounding insane, I started and as I could feel the nerves getting worse. I told myself: Relax, you can do this. Pretend as if you are the only person in the room and that you are performing for yourself. I completed my two pieces and I felt good. I felt as if I have accomplished something, as if I took a step forward in destroying my fears and becoming more confident.
At the end of the auditions, they announced the individuals moving forward to the next round: The International Arts Talent Showcase. My number came up, I cannot explain to you the emotions I was feeling. I felt so thankful for this opportunity, I felt that I have moved a step forward to my dream. I was proud of myself for standing up and saying to myself that I can do this. I gave the audition a shot, in front of people, which is something I wouldn’t really have done. But I have changed my mindset, because nobody else is going to walk my path for me, only I am able to. And I took that step by auditioning. As the contestants all stood around the banner, awaiting other contestants and for photos to be taken, I smiled joyfully, looking out into the crowd. At that point, tears filled my eyes. I could almost not hold it in anymore. Not tears of sadness, tears of joy. Tears of getting an opportunity to perform. Tears of realizing that if I really want to, I can do it and I can reach towards my dream.
If you have a dream, and you really want it. Don’t wait for something to happen, make it happen. Don’t let your fears get in the way of your dreams, own your fears, fight them!
